Leap Day

Here we are at that extra day that comes every 4 years. That really doesn't mean anything to me, but it is just a neat thing every 4 years.

Well, I spoke with my older sister last night about the past and trying to improve communication. It went well. As we spoke she reminded me and I do remember bringing up the disconnect in our family but nothing was ever done about - a MacLaury family trait along with retreating into silence. I got my sister to agree to a monthly phone call. When ever I do talk with her we have good conversations, but they are just too far apart. It got better when I was fighting cancer - but when I got better the old pattern emerged. I pointed out that both of us have to work at breaking the pattern and that if we don't take small steps to do that we aren't going to have much of a relationship after Mom and Dad leave us.

I am not sure this heals all the pain - but it is a step towards doing it and it may take time to build the trust. I think what is still disheartening is that I have spoken about this before to at least my older sister and yet she didn't seem to think it was important enough to try to change it. Forgive me but the MacLaury's get stuck behind their non-communicative walls of silence. She knew there was a problem and said she wanted to do something about it but never did.Well, lets see how the monthly phone calls go.

I was also able to shift the conversation to more mundane things and we talked about eating and changing habits and addiction to sugar and food. We had a good conversation.

Other news:
Both Monday and Tuesday I got off the subway 2 stops early and walked home. I don't know that I will do it tonight as it is raining!

As I mentioned, I did get ice cream on Saturday night - the emotional eating things - Ben and Jerry's blueberry cobbler. It was good, but it didn't hit that spot and so as I sat there eating a message went through my brain "why am I eating this, I am not really enjoying it".

I have started doing my food tracking again on weight watchers. I do it just before I go to bed at night.

Well that is all for now.....