I just have to write here this morning. I have finally gotten over my thanksgiving illness, what ever kind of cold/flu it was and put me out for 5 days! I didn't eat much for 5 days. I did have fish and chips, and
strawberry/rhubarb pie for thanksgiving at my local Irish pub. All other
days where kind of a haze of 1940's Charlie Chan and Sherlock Holmes
movies!
So, today the sun is shining and I feel good. I have noticed that some of my clothes are loser - nice feeling. I am getting in the Yuletide spirit by listening to christmas music and especially watching my list of xmas movies - last night was "The Shop Around the Corner" with James Stewart and Margaret Sullivan. I did see "The Grinch who Stole Christmas" Chuck Jones cartoon over the weekend. I think tonight will be the "Nutcracker". I hope to get my tree up this weekend, find blue xmas lights.
I haven't been doing zumba dancing over the last couple of weeks - but I hope to get back to it soon. The exercise really does help take the pounds off.
I did start a list of what I was grateful for on Thanksgiving, but didn't get far since I wasn't in much of a mood to write with my head feeling like a cement bowling ball. So I will modestly say that what I am thank for today is sunshine, christmas music, breath, warm showers and feeling good!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
what I am thankful for today
I have been trying to practice gratitude over the last week or so.
Some days are great and some days are like today. I can list what I am
grateful for - but I am not feeling the gratitude - until this
afternoon, so here goes
I am thankful I have a job where I can be quiet and let sometimes troubling things just be
I am thankful for the November roses still blooming in the rose garden at work
I am thankful for the oak tree I walk around
I am thankful for the autumn leaves on the ground that I can playfully shuffle through
I am thankful I am going to talk to my therapist tonight - to help with all this Thanksgiving stuff
I am thankful for my breath - as I draw it in and let it go
These little gratitudes have helped me through this day.....
I am thankful I have a job where I can be quiet and let sometimes troubling things just be
I am thankful for the November roses still blooming in the rose garden at work
I am thankful for the oak tree I walk around
I am thankful for the autumn leaves on the ground that I can playfully shuffle through
I am thankful I am going to talk to my therapist tonight - to help with all this Thanksgiving stuff
I am thankful for my breath - as I draw it in and let it go
These little gratitudes have helped me through this day.....
The Ice Cream got me!!!
Saturday night - after the red tent temple on the way home I was
thinking about Priscilla and I wanted something creamy. I didn't have
any yogurt in the house so I got some Ben and Jerry's everything but the
ice cream. I thought ( ha) that I could just have 1/2 the pint - but it
was so hard to scoop out that I just did the whole thing - and it
tasted good. Well, there we go, that is that.....
Sunday I didn't feel great, so I went back to be, proceeded to get a migraine - I haven't had one of those in a couple of years and lounge my way through the rest of the day.
Today is kind of blah - I really wanted to crawl under a rock this morning. I am thinking about Thanksgiving - and having a little panic because I am not going home. My parents have gone through some big changes this year but I want to be in NYC part of the weekend to visit Priscilla in the hospital and maybe get a burger with her husband George. I really feel kind of torn about this holiday. I struggle with hanging out this new people and I struggle with hanging out with my family. Honestly I have been feeling a little lonely.
I am not so worried about Thanksgiving day and over eating - it is a day to enjoy good food and good people and I intend on doing both without reservation. I am researching recipes for a pear cobbler without gluten, eggs or dairy - well I might use butter. I am going to use almond flour and maybe add apples or apricot jam to my creation. I am also bringing a pumpkin pie for dessert.
Sunday I didn't feel great, so I went back to be, proceeded to get a migraine - I haven't had one of those in a couple of years and lounge my way through the rest of the day.
Today is kind of blah - I really wanted to crawl under a rock this morning. I am thinking about Thanksgiving - and having a little panic because I am not going home. My parents have gone through some big changes this year but I want to be in NYC part of the weekend to visit Priscilla in the hospital and maybe get a burger with her husband George. I really feel kind of torn about this holiday. I struggle with hanging out this new people and I struggle with hanging out with my family. Honestly I have been feeling a little lonely.
I am not so worried about Thanksgiving day and over eating - it is a day to enjoy good food and good people and I intend on doing both without reservation. I am researching recipes for a pear cobbler without gluten, eggs or dairy - well I might use butter. I am going to use almond flour and maybe add apples or apricot jam to my creation. I am also bringing a pumpkin pie for dessert.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Body Loving
The night turned chilled
From the first of the winter rains
Inside the dark room
Red, pink and purple Christmas lights
Magic color glowed
I naked on the bed
Dreaming of body love
Filling every cell with luminous
Pink glitter light
Saying
I am sorry
For all the harm
I unthinkingly subjected you to
In the sorrow
I opened all of me
To tingling light awareness
Caressing me
Inside and out
Lusciously loving all my wiggly curves
My heart was awake
Both sorrow and joy
Wanting to burst this container
To let love fly in the night
Thursday, November 17, 2011
I got this from a blog I read every day and has helped me to love my more. The blog is Lessons from a Recovering Doormat by Daylle Deanna Schwartz. Here is today's blog post:
I know other authors have said similar things - but since I have been focusing on self love as part of reducing my weight I thought this was a good post, especially the bottom about self-love and asking ourselves what is right with me - versus what is wrong......So, what is right with you? How can you move to what is right for you? to self-love.
Honestly - as I sat here and reread this - I tapped into my deep self- love and let it fill all of me - and then I started to cry because it is hard for me to remember being told affirmations or that someone loved me - it just urges me to want to love me more, and I want to share affirmations and love with those who have loved me as I am right now. So to my girl posse - DJ, RP, AC, PC - I love you!!!
I’m delighted to have Dr. Mark Chironna, certified life coach, author, and spiritual director as my guest today. Dr. Chironna’s authentic and compassionate approach to purposeful, destiny-infused living has transformed lives everywhere through one-on-one mentoring, speaking engagements, print and electronic media. His book, Live Your Dream, is an inspiring and practical handbook for strategic living. His latest release, 7 Secrets to Unfolding Destiny, is a practical, interactive tool that will help you reach your full potential.
With Self-Love Month approaching in January, I talked Dr. Chironna and asked him to share some of his insights with you. Finding your purpose is an act of self-love. If you can tap into your own destiny, you give yourself a major key to happiness. That’s definitely a loving place to be! Here’s what he had to say:
Why do you think many people don’t live their dreams? I believe at least in portion that one of the reasons is, first and foremost, they don’t know how to get from where they are to where they want to be. Sometimes the root of that stuck state is tied to second guessing their own capability, capacity and competency to get there because by the time they’re 18 years old they’ve heard negative and non-affirming statements millions of times more than they’ve heard affirming statements. In spite of these incredible in-built desires that can lead them to the kind of outcomes they deeply long for, they fight within themselves in a way because they’re constantly having to overcome the kind of negative self-talk that’s gotten so deeply imbedded they’re not even fully conscious of it anymore. 70% of negative self-talk goes undetected by the conscious mind. The lions share of those negative belief systems are at work under the surface until we learn how to unearth them and look at them face to face to get unstuck.
How can someone begin to find their purpose when they’re stuck? The reality is more people than not are in their predicament because they have spent a good portion their growing up years listening to what others told they should, they ought, they must do. They never gave themselves permission to ask “Are those things congruent with who I am?” Your identity is your destiny and when you’re told you should, ought or must do this, all very unaffirming drivers which negate any road away from genuine self-esteem, and self-acceptance, you end up living to please other people. And you spend all your energy making them accept you rather than you coming to terms with being comfortable in your own skin so you can bring your unique factor to the table and give legitimate voice to who you really are. The real issue in terms of what do you do begins with asking the question “Who am I?” because your identity is ultimately your destiny.
How does fear hold us back? Most people live in what they believe is their comfort zone, which is an illusion. It’s a little box that you oscillate back and forth in between fear of failure and fear of success. You never get out of the box because when you get too close to failure, you put on all the effort you can to not deal with the fear of failure so you run back to success. But when you get too close to success you question whether you have the capacity to handle it so unknowingly you sabotage yourself and head back towards the fear of failure. I call that the comfort zone because it’s the place we’ve become comfortable operating but not the place we’re intended to operate from.
I have found that the fear of failure and fear of success are the polarizing factors around which the other fears constellate. You’ve got to learn to face those fears down, and challenge them, argue with them and not assume that just because you’re feeling them it’s who you are. At the core of your being, who you are is far greater than that.
Why do you think so many people don’t love themselves? There is a medical term that [the late] Dr. Conrad Baars, an eminent psychiatrist called it–deprivation neurosis. He meant that oftentimes in life, no one gives us the gift of affirmations so we never can become who we are and celebrate who we are. Significant others have always praised our performance or demanded perfect performance and never simply celebrated our essence. When I don’t get the gift of affirmation that is absolutely tied to who I am as apart from what I do, I end up believing I have to do to become who I am.
With that we set up a whole cycle of pain, disappointment and sabotage because no one has ever said “You’re a wonderful person” or “I love you.” All of us growing up need someone who offers us that unconditional love and affirmation. If you didn’t get it you need to figure out how to appropriate it into your own life with your own disciplines and practices and also by building relationships with people who are not toxic or dysfunctional. [You need} someone who genuinely cares about you and can mirror back that you’re a good person and have gifts and capacities. All of us struggle with this. To me the key to why people don’t celebrate who they are is they don’t feel good about themselves. They feel they don’t measure up.
How would you define self-love? When I’m talking about self-love I’m not talking about an egocentric narcissist, consumed with myself, which is born out of insecurity. Self-esteem is a feeling, a reflection of the respect, love and value you have for yourself. It’s a skill that has to be developed. We’re not taught that skill in school. At some point you have to understand that you have to affirm and value who you are. If you don’t, you can’t give anyone else anything because you can’t give what you don’t have.
When people are in low ego, it means they are really comfortable in their skin. They don’t have to prove anything to anyone. They celebrate who they are and are in very high esteem because nobody can take away from them the value they know they’re worth. They live an affirming lifestyle and treat themselves in ways that they would like to be treated. Someone who is truly living an affirming lifestyle has the ability to bring others people into aliveness because they’re not carrying around the excess baggage of trying to please anybody else. They’re done playing that game.
How can people increase their self-love? You can spend the rest of your life looking at what’s wrong with you. Then you have people in positive psychology movement like Martin Seligman who ask, “What’s right with me?” Learning how to apply those principles helps you build up a reserve internally of affirming feelings and a sense of being motivated to getting your want to like yourself back. Then your how to will follow. If you work with these principles, they will work with you. In my opinion they’re inexorable laws. They govern the functioning of human existence. When we can tap into those things we can sit back and let those principles operate in us and bring us into a real sense of freedom and self-worth and, all that’s tied to learning how to appropriately and diligently love who we are.
–Check out Dr. Mark Chironna‘s latest book, 7 Secrets to Unfolding Destiny.
Read more: http://blog.beliefnet.com/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat/2011/11/finding-your-purpose-with-dr-mark-chironna.html#ixzz1dzGxfGOg
I know other authors have said similar things - but since I have been focusing on self love as part of reducing my weight I thought this was a good post, especially the bottom about self-love and asking ourselves what is right with me - versus what is wrong......So, what is right with you? How can you move to what is right for you? to self-love.
Honestly - as I sat here and reread this - I tapped into my deep self- love and let it fill all of me - and then I started to cry because it is hard for me to remember being told affirmations or that someone loved me - it just urges me to want to love me more, and I want to share affirmations and love with those who have loved me as I am right now. So to my girl posse - DJ, RP, AC, PC - I love you!!!
I’m delighted to have Dr. Mark Chironna, certified life coach, author, and spiritual director as my guest today. Dr. Chironna’s authentic and compassionate approach to purposeful, destiny-infused living has transformed lives everywhere through one-on-one mentoring, speaking engagements, print and electronic media. His book, Live Your Dream, is an inspiring and practical handbook for strategic living. His latest release, 7 Secrets to Unfolding Destiny, is a practical, interactive tool that will help you reach your full potential.
With Self-Love Month approaching in January, I talked Dr. Chironna and asked him to share some of his insights with you. Finding your purpose is an act of self-love. If you can tap into your own destiny, you give yourself a major key to happiness. That’s definitely a loving place to be! Here’s what he had to say:
Why do you think many people don’t live their dreams? I believe at least in portion that one of the reasons is, first and foremost, they don’t know how to get from where they are to where they want to be. Sometimes the root of that stuck state is tied to second guessing their own capability, capacity and competency to get there because by the time they’re 18 years old they’ve heard negative and non-affirming statements millions of times more than they’ve heard affirming statements. In spite of these incredible in-built desires that can lead them to the kind of outcomes they deeply long for, they fight within themselves in a way because they’re constantly having to overcome the kind of negative self-talk that’s gotten so deeply imbedded they’re not even fully conscious of it anymore. 70% of negative self-talk goes undetected by the conscious mind. The lions share of those negative belief systems are at work under the surface until we learn how to unearth them and look at them face to face to get unstuck.
How can someone begin to find their purpose when they’re stuck? The reality is more people than not are in their predicament because they have spent a good portion their growing up years listening to what others told they should, they ought, they must do. They never gave themselves permission to ask “Are those things congruent with who I am?” Your identity is your destiny and when you’re told you should, ought or must do this, all very unaffirming drivers which negate any road away from genuine self-esteem, and self-acceptance, you end up living to please other people. And you spend all your energy making them accept you rather than you coming to terms with being comfortable in your own skin so you can bring your unique factor to the table and give legitimate voice to who you really are. The real issue in terms of what do you do begins with asking the question “Who am I?” because your identity is ultimately your destiny.
How does fear hold us back? Most people live in what they believe is their comfort zone, which is an illusion. It’s a little box that you oscillate back and forth in between fear of failure and fear of success. You never get out of the box because when you get too close to failure, you put on all the effort you can to not deal with the fear of failure so you run back to success. But when you get too close to success you question whether you have the capacity to handle it so unknowingly you sabotage yourself and head back towards the fear of failure. I call that the comfort zone because it’s the place we’ve become comfortable operating but not the place we’re intended to operate from.
I have found that the fear of failure and fear of success are the polarizing factors around which the other fears constellate. You’ve got to learn to face those fears down, and challenge them, argue with them and not assume that just because you’re feeling them it’s who you are. At the core of your being, who you are is far greater than that.
Why do you think so many people don’t love themselves? There is a medical term that [the late] Dr. Conrad Baars, an eminent psychiatrist called it–deprivation neurosis. He meant that oftentimes in life, no one gives us the gift of affirmations so we never can become who we are and celebrate who we are. Significant others have always praised our performance or demanded perfect performance and never simply celebrated our essence. When I don’t get the gift of affirmation that is absolutely tied to who I am as apart from what I do, I end up believing I have to do to become who I am.
With that we set up a whole cycle of pain, disappointment and sabotage because no one has ever said “You’re a wonderful person” or “I love you.” All of us growing up need someone who offers us that unconditional love and affirmation. If you didn’t get it you need to figure out how to appropriate it into your own life with your own disciplines and practices and also by building relationships with people who are not toxic or dysfunctional. [You need} someone who genuinely cares about you and can mirror back that you’re a good person and have gifts and capacities. All of us struggle with this. To me the key to why people don’t celebrate who they are is they don’t feel good about themselves. They feel they don’t measure up.
How would you define self-love? When I’m talking about self-love I’m not talking about an egocentric narcissist, consumed with myself, which is born out of insecurity. Self-esteem is a feeling, a reflection of the respect, love and value you have for yourself. It’s a skill that has to be developed. We’re not taught that skill in school. At some point you have to understand that you have to affirm and value who you are. If you don’t, you can’t give anyone else anything because you can’t give what you don’t have.
When people are in low ego, it means they are really comfortable in their skin. They don’t have to prove anything to anyone. They celebrate who they are and are in very high esteem because nobody can take away from them the value they know they’re worth. They live an affirming lifestyle and treat themselves in ways that they would like to be treated. Someone who is truly living an affirming lifestyle has the ability to bring others people into aliveness because they’re not carrying around the excess baggage of trying to please anybody else. They’re done playing that game.
How can people increase their self-love? You can spend the rest of your life looking at what’s wrong with you. Then you have people in positive psychology movement like Martin Seligman who ask, “What’s right with me?” Learning how to apply those principles helps you build up a reserve internally of affirming feelings and a sense of being motivated to getting your want to like yourself back. Then your how to will follow. If you work with these principles, they will work with you. In my opinion they’re inexorable laws. They govern the functioning of human existence. When we can tap into those things we can sit back and let those principles operate in us and bring us into a real sense of freedom and self-worth and, all that’s tied to learning how to appropriately and diligently love who we are.
–Check out Dr. Mark Chironna‘s latest book, 7 Secrets to Unfolding Destiny.
Read more: http://blog.beliefnet.com/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat/2011/11/finding-your-purpose-with-dr-mark-chironna.html#ixzz1dzGxfGOg
Doing okay on little sleep - body image and mindless eating
You know! - I thought I would be grumpy and tired today because I had a strange night's sleep. I did get to sleep for a little while and then around 1ish I woke up and didn't get back to sleep until 3. In the two hours I fussed a little, got up and finished making egg salad for today's sandwich, took a shower and then played solitaire until my eyes couldn't stay open. I think my insomnia may have had something to do with this aromatherapy oil that I love - I put little dabs on my pillow and sheets but my brain was enjoying the scent so much that I could get back to sleep.
So last night D and I had our bi-weekly girls chat. We could talk forever and not get bored! We talked about food, weight, body image, my friend in the hospital, Thanksgiving.
One thing that really has me thinking today is body image. This comes from not only my own struggle with my body image, but from the exercise and mediation I share here yesterday. I have been thinking about those parts of my body I don't love, the bat wings on my arms, my belly, my gooble turkey chin! I like the mediation because it helps me names the good things about these parts of my body - like - my arms are strong to lift and carry things - well - that is where I get stuck - so I think I can work on this! Now I can write grateful things about other parts of my body - but loving those tough parts seems like I good place to start to really love my body.
D and I also talked at length about eating habits and eating in a mindful way - like mediating as we eat - focusing on the food, taste, texture, and whether we are really enjoying the food or eating it out of habit. Now, both of us found it hard to go as far as turning off our TVs to do this mediation - since we are both single - but I do like taking time to be more mindful - to do a 'food check-in' by slowing eating down and eating without a lot of distraction - to check-in with myself to see if I am really enjoying what I am eating versus just doing mindless eating.
So last night D and I had our bi-weekly girls chat. We could talk forever and not get bored! We talked about food, weight, body image, my friend in the hospital, Thanksgiving.
One thing that really has me thinking today is body image. This comes from not only my own struggle with my body image, but from the exercise and mediation I share here yesterday. I have been thinking about those parts of my body I don't love, the bat wings on my arms, my belly, my gooble turkey chin! I like the mediation because it helps me names the good things about these parts of my body - like - my arms are strong to lift and carry things - well - that is where I get stuck - so I think I can work on this! Now I can write grateful things about other parts of my body - but loving those tough parts seems like I good place to start to really love my body.
D and I also talked at length about eating habits and eating in a mindful way - like mediating as we eat - focusing on the food, taste, texture, and whether we are really enjoying the food or eating it out of habit. Now, both of us found it hard to go as far as turning off our TVs to do this mediation - since we are both single - but I do like taking time to be more mindful - to do a 'food check-in' by slowing eating down and eating without a lot of distraction - to check-in with myself to see if I am really enjoying what I am eating versus just doing mindless eating.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Gratitude and your body
From Joanna Lindenbaum - I had to share this with you - I have recently rediscovered my sensuous body after battling cancer 20 months ago. Now this might help me another step along the way:
Ever wondered what your body has to do with gratitude? My good friend, Amanda Moxley, brilliantly explains to connection between the two. Amanda is a Body Transformation Expert and Coach who first transformed her own unhealthy relationship with food, body image and body size from a size 14 to a size 4 naturally and without going to extreme measures. Amanda is a board-certified holistic health coach, yoga teacher, certified social worker (CSW) and an award-winning business owner. She is an avid world traveler, wife and mother. For free gifts and more go to www.AmandaMoxley.com. If you’ve ever struggled with your weight, body image, emotional eating, or self sabotage with food, Amanda’s “Get YOUR Ultimate Body in 30 Days Guided Visualization” and the “Love Your Belly Guided Visualization” will allow you to discover the SOUL root of the issue and get you on track to feeling radiantly healthy, energized and alive. Grab your free mp3’s here.
How to Transform Your Body into the Body of YOUR Dreams through Gratitude
by Amanda Moxley
How often throughout your day do you catch yourself thinking or feeling thoughts about not liking your body, or wishing it looked different, or beating yourself up about not eating the right thing, or being mad at yourself because you let yourself down again by not keeping your commitments and intentions to yourself or calling yourself fat or feeling frustrated because your clothes don’t fit?
Tune in to your inner dialogue today and measure on a scale from 1-10, 10 being your highest how much energy, feelings, thoughts and time you are spending on thinking negatively about your body, body image, size or food.
What’s your number? I’ve coined that number your Body Barrier™ number.
Using the POWER of gratitude, let’s channel your Body Barrier™ number into your heart’s true desires!
Love is the ONLY ABSOLUTE.
Love is the highest VIBRATION.
According to Heart Math Institute the heart is 5000 times more powerful than the brain. Transforming your body requires you to move deeper into LOVE and this can be easily done by being grateful.
Step 1: Think of the body part you may have disowned or that you deeply dislike.
Step 2: Sit in a quiet and safe place. Enjoy some deep nourishing breaths. Conjure up all of the unkind thoughts, feeling and emotions you express to your disowned body part on a daily basis.
Step 3: Think about a person in your life who you LOVE whole heartedly and unconditionally. It could be your child, sister, mother or niece.
Step 4: Imagine saying the mean things you express to yourself habitually every day of your life to your beloved.
Step 5: Can you do it?
Step 6: AH HA! Do you see now? You wouldn’t and couldn’t ever express any of the mean things you say to yourself daily (some of you for 20 plus years) to your beloved. So, why are you doing this to yourself?
Step 7: Place your hands on your disowned or deeply disliked body part and imagine you have white light in your hands, breathe this light into your body.
Step 8: Have a heart to heart with your body. Tell it you are sorry and that you never knew how mean you were being to it. Tell it you love it and will do anything to heal your relationship.
Step 9: What about this particular body part are you grateful for? Mentally or physically write down everything you are grateful for about this body part.
Daily Body Transformation Ritual
Every morning and evening when you are lying in bed, place your hands on your body and breathe love and gratitude into it. Mentally go through every reason why you are grateful for your body. Next, dedicate a special gratitude journal to your body and write 5 ways in which you are grateful for your body today. Please do NOT repeat the same 5 things every day! This will stretch your imagination and your appreciation muscles!
Your body was meant to be healthy and vibrant. Trust the simplicity of this exercise and watch your body transform before your eyes over then next month.
Radiantly yours,
Amanda
Ever wondered what your body has to do with gratitude? My good friend, Amanda Moxley, brilliantly explains to connection between the two. Amanda is a Body Transformation Expert and Coach who first transformed her own unhealthy relationship with food, body image and body size from a size 14 to a size 4 naturally and without going to extreme measures. Amanda is a board-certified holistic health coach, yoga teacher, certified social worker (CSW) and an award-winning business owner. She is an avid world traveler, wife and mother. For free gifts and more go to www.AmandaMoxley.com. If you’ve ever struggled with your weight, body image, emotional eating, or self sabotage with food, Amanda’s “Get YOUR Ultimate Body in 30 Days Guided Visualization” and the “Love Your Belly Guided Visualization” will allow you to discover the SOUL root of the issue and get you on track to feeling radiantly healthy, energized and alive. Grab your free mp3’s here.
How to Transform Your Body into the Body of YOUR Dreams through Gratitude
by Amanda Moxley
How often throughout your day do you catch yourself thinking or feeling thoughts about not liking your body, or wishing it looked different, or beating yourself up about not eating the right thing, or being mad at yourself because you let yourself down again by not keeping your commitments and intentions to yourself or calling yourself fat or feeling frustrated because your clothes don’t fit?
Tune in to your inner dialogue today and measure on a scale from 1-10, 10 being your highest how much energy, feelings, thoughts and time you are spending on thinking negatively about your body, body image, size or food.
What’s your number? I’ve coined that number your Body Barrier™ number.
Using the POWER of gratitude, let’s channel your Body Barrier™ number into your heart’s true desires!
Love is the ONLY ABSOLUTE.
Love is the highest VIBRATION.
According to Heart Math Institute the heart is 5000 times more powerful than the brain. Transforming your body requires you to move deeper into LOVE and this can be easily done by being grateful.
Step 1: Think of the body part you may have disowned or that you deeply dislike.
Step 2: Sit in a quiet and safe place. Enjoy some deep nourishing breaths. Conjure up all of the unkind thoughts, feeling and emotions you express to your disowned body part on a daily basis.
Step 3: Think about a person in your life who you LOVE whole heartedly and unconditionally. It could be your child, sister, mother or niece.
Step 4: Imagine saying the mean things you express to yourself habitually every day of your life to your beloved.
Step 5: Can you do it?
Step 6: AH HA! Do you see now? You wouldn’t and couldn’t ever express any of the mean things you say to yourself daily (some of you for 20 plus years) to your beloved. So, why are you doing this to yourself?
Step 7: Place your hands on your disowned or deeply disliked body part and imagine you have white light in your hands, breathe this light into your body.
Step 8: Have a heart to heart with your body. Tell it you are sorry and that you never knew how mean you were being to it. Tell it you love it and will do anything to heal your relationship.
Step 9: What about this particular body part are you grateful for? Mentally or physically write down everything you are grateful for about this body part.
Daily Body Transformation Ritual
Every morning and evening when you are lying in bed, place your hands on your body and breathe love and gratitude into it. Mentally go through every reason why you are grateful for your body. Next, dedicate a special gratitude journal to your body and write 5 ways in which you are grateful for your body today. Please do NOT repeat the same 5 things every day! This will stretch your imagination and your appreciation muscles!
Your body was meant to be healthy and vibrant. Trust the simplicity of this exercise and watch your body transform before your eyes over then next month.
Radiantly yours,
Amanda
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Blue Tuesday
Here is a little accomplishment I am celebrating - I went to Whole
Foods last night to pick up a few things. It was late. I had just seen
my friend in the hospital and had 1 beer with her husband. I DID NOT
succumb to buying a sweet. I seriously considered it - I checked out the
cakes and cookies and chocolates, but in the end I said no to myself.
The fact is I really didn't want it, I wasn't really interested in
having a sweet. I had some sweet earlier in the day - chocolate covered
peanuts - so I didn't need more. I am proud of myself that even though I
tempted myself by checking out the goodies, in the end I just didn't
bother.
So, why blue today - well it is gray in NYC today - I am worried about my friend in the hospital - recovery isn't going to be as easy as we thought. I did a lot of walking this past weekend and I am still sore and tired. I did get a good night's sleep but I wanted to stay home today and do the chores I didn't have a chance to to this past weekend and just catch up a little. It gets me down sometimes being single and having to everything. I know not to be too hard on myself but when I get tired, I tend to feel this more keenly. The tired being combined with my friend in the hospital is bringing me down a little today.
So, why blue today - well it is gray in NYC today - I am worried about my friend in the hospital - recovery isn't going to be as easy as we thought. I did a lot of walking this past weekend and I am still sore and tired. I did get a good night's sleep but I wanted to stay home today and do the chores I didn't have a chance to to this past weekend and just catch up a little. It gets me down sometimes being single and having to everything. I know not to be too hard on myself but when I get tired, I tend to feel this more keenly. The tired being combined with my friend in the hospital is bringing me down a little today.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Good weekend
Wow - I had a good weekend with good food and lots of good walking.
Saturday I hung out with my friend Christina in Long Island City. I wanted to see if I would like moving there as I might have to move in the next couple of years. I wasn't crazy about LIC for a place to move to but I loved Cafe Henri - a little french restaurant. I had the best Eggs Benedict I have had in a long time and the portions where sane! Eggs Benedict - it is all about the hollandaise sauce - and here they used butter and I could tell - but it tasted so good. And I walked most of it off that afternoon wandering around LIC.
Then Sunday. I was pretty tired from Saturday, and achy from all that walking, but I got myself out of the door because I was hanging out with my foodie friend Beth. So from French to Maine Lobster! We went to a tiny place on Amsterdam and 81 that had the BEST lobster rolls, and just perfect for lunch! And again did a fair amount of walking to work it off. I did have some birthday cake yesterday to - a little vanilla and a little chocolate - the chocolate was the best! That will keep me for a while.
Now today I am visiting a friend in the hospital - so I bought lunch today and I had 1/2 my lunch at lunch time and I am saving the other half for 'dinner' - just before I leave work so I won't be ravenous when I get home later tonight.
I may not have kept to entirely to the eating healthier when eating out plan, but I feel good about this weekend. I had a great time with friends and I had good food - and I didn't over do it and I didn't overly worry about it. Tonight maybe a challenge if I meet George, my friends husband, and we head out from the hospital together, we might get a bite to eat and a drink. I am not sure I have a plan for that. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.
Saturday I hung out with my friend Christina in Long Island City. I wanted to see if I would like moving there as I might have to move in the next couple of years. I wasn't crazy about LIC for a place to move to but I loved Cafe Henri - a little french restaurant. I had the best Eggs Benedict I have had in a long time and the portions where sane! Eggs Benedict - it is all about the hollandaise sauce - and here they used butter and I could tell - but it tasted so good. And I walked most of it off that afternoon wandering around LIC.
Then Sunday. I was pretty tired from Saturday, and achy from all that walking, but I got myself out of the door because I was hanging out with my foodie friend Beth. So from French to Maine Lobster! We went to a tiny place on Amsterdam and 81 that had the BEST lobster rolls, and just perfect for lunch! And again did a fair amount of walking to work it off. I did have some birthday cake yesterday to - a little vanilla and a little chocolate - the chocolate was the best! That will keep me for a while.
Now today I am visiting a friend in the hospital - so I bought lunch today and I had 1/2 my lunch at lunch time and I am saving the other half for 'dinner' - just before I leave work so I won't be ravenous when I get home later tonight.
I may not have kept to entirely to the eating healthier when eating out plan, but I feel good about this weekend. I had a great time with friends and I had good food - and I didn't over do it and I didn't overly worry about it. Tonight maybe a challenge if I meet George, my friends husband, and we head out from the hospital together, we might get a bite to eat and a drink. I am not sure I have a plan for that. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Friday morning
Well the coffee is helping feel better this morning.
Now I feel really good! I just set up my first appointment to see a therapist in the middle of January. I had to do it then because of financial reasons, but the appointment is made! I feel really good about this.
So now, back to other things.
A - I tried rice cakes last night! okay I over did it a little - but boy are they good. Each rice cake is only 1 point in WW so I think I found a new crunch for me. I even put a little avocado on one of the cheddar cheese ones and that was delicious.
Last night I also did a zumba routine - 35 minutes - if felt really good to stick to my exercise goal yesterday. I did have some aches and pains this morning - the coffee if helping with those.
Last night and today I have been thinking about hiding and weight. Now I am using hiding in a number of different ways. Hiding my bodacious self behind weight - hiding by not changing eating habits - hiding in fear - hiding my voice - hiding with unresolved emotions.
quick update: I will be eating out this weekend, so I am well aware of trying to change a pattern is scary. I will make better food choices when I go out to eat this weekend. I will let you know how it goes.
Now I feel really good! I just set up my first appointment to see a therapist in the middle of January. I had to do it then because of financial reasons, but the appointment is made! I feel really good about this.
So now, back to other things.
A - I tried rice cakes last night! okay I over did it a little - but boy are they good. Each rice cake is only 1 point in WW so I think I found a new crunch for me. I even put a little avocado on one of the cheddar cheese ones and that was delicious.
Last night I also did a zumba routine - 35 minutes - if felt really good to stick to my exercise goal yesterday. I did have some aches and pains this morning - the coffee if helping with those.
Last night and today I have been thinking about hiding and weight. Now I am using hiding in a number of different ways. Hiding my bodacious self behind weight - hiding by not changing eating habits - hiding in fear - hiding my voice - hiding with unresolved emotions.
quick update: I will be eating out this weekend, so I am well aware of trying to change a pattern is scary. I will make better food choices when I go out to eat this weekend. I will let you know how it goes.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
having cake and eating it too
So - this has been wandering around in my brain for a couple of days. Along the lines of changing patterns - changing thoughts. A year ago when I started WW I thought I could have my cake and eat it too. I resisted changing that pattern (and maybe I still do a little) - but I now see that I have let go of that belief and thought pattern. So, I am going to put the cookies, cakes, ice cream, chips, burgers, pancakes, in a special occasion place, not to be banished completely, but rather put in the a rarely consumed category. I am also going to look for healthy choices when I go out for a meal. By putting this in such a positive action statement brings that positive energy to it. I don't want to just try - I want to do this. It is making a deeper commitment to myself to eat healthier. By writing it here I put it out to the world and want to be held accountable for it.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
being honest - making changes
After talking yesterday about addressing some desires that aren't working for me I find that being honest about them, with you and myself, and talking about them it feels to me like those unhealthy desire can now shift - I don't feel as much resistance to changing them.
I did a zumba routine last night and I was able, for the first time in a long time, to keep within my daily WW points. Now there is accomplishment!
I did a zumba routine last night and I was able, for the first time in a long time, to keep within my daily WW points. Now there is accomplishment!
Monday, November 7, 2011
breaking a habit
"The system [of pledging to break a bad habit] does not strike at the root of the trouble, and I venture to repeat that. The root is not the drinking, but the desire to drink. These are very different things. The one merely requires will--and a great deal of it, both as to bulk and staying capacity--the other merely watchfulness--and for no long time. The desire of course precedes the act, and should have one's first attention; it can do but little good to refuse the act over and over again, always leaving the desire unmolested, unconquered; the desire will continue to assert itself, and will be almost sure to win in the long run. When the desire intrudes, it should be at once banished out of the mind. One should be on the watch for it all the time--otherwise it will get in. It must be taken in time and not allowed to get a lodgment. A desire constantly repulsed for a fortnight should die, then. That should cure the drinking-habit. The system of refusing the mere act of drinking, and leaving the desire in full force, is unintelligent war tactics, it seems to me."Twain was, of course, discussing the manner in which a person should break a bad habit. Habits, he tells us (using drinking as his prime example), have two components: the act and the and the desire to commit that act. In order In order act to avoid an act, to break a habit, Twain suggests that we must remove the desire, not merely cease the act, for the desire will always manifest eventually.
I found this on the ADF site and immediately thought of comfort food - or rather food that I still really want to eat but shouldn't. The point of this post is not where or not I should or should not eat certain food - rather, what caught my eye was the desire to commit the act - the desire to eat cookies, cakes, pastries, etc. Yes I can change the act - but have I changed the desire for these foods - honestly - NO. I still desire the burgers, key lime pie, martinis, cookies, ice cream etc. All I am saying is maybe if I change my desire for these foods, along with the pattern, I will have a better chance of not over indulging in them on a regular basis, rather I can enjoy occasionally.
I think getting to the desire, and the thoughts that desire brings, and as Twain says When the desire intrudes, it should be at once banished out of the mind. Banishing those thoughts/desires when they come - getting the mind to think of something else - anything else - any healthier thoughts would begin to change that desire. Even though I desire to reduce my weight my desire for those other foods is almost stronger.
I just had a thought also about these comfort foods - that in conquering the desire - I almost wanted to say I have to banish eating entirely - and some part of me said 'NO' - don't banish them completely - you truly do enjoy them.
Even in conquering the desire - maybe if that is conquered - then maybe when I do eat these comfort foods I won't feel so ravenous or deprived when I eat them - but rather enjoy them as they are - good food that I really like.
Starting a new week
So, I had a pretty good weekend! I did my cooking and attended a Samhain ritual on Saturday and yesterday I did church, a quick meeting and then home to relax and watch the NYC Marathon. It is nice having a balanced weekend with just right amount of rest and activity, especially after a week filled with personal Samhain celebrations and personal upset.
So, now begins another week. Back to the Zumba dancing and back to the a normal food routine.
I am noticing the leaves change color - I have a oak tree at work that I visit, near the rose garden. Her leaves are turning golden yellow. I rescued a November rose - the blossom was too heavy for the stem - now it sits on my desk.
It feels good to start with winter season - this season of letting go and going inward.
So, in talking to my therapist on Friday we talked about comfort foods and the reasons why they are comfort foods and why we need comfort foods - Here is an idea - maybe I can change to healthier comfort foods? I am have been giving some thought to what those food might be - yogurt is one that immediately comes to mind. If I can find healthier comfort foods then I leave all those sweet, rich, creamy, crunchy foods that are now my comfort foods to really special occasions.
So, now begins another week. Back to the Zumba dancing and back to the a normal food routine.
I am noticing the leaves change color - I have a oak tree at work that I visit, near the rose garden. Her leaves are turning golden yellow. I rescued a November rose - the blossom was too heavy for the stem - now it sits on my desk.
It feels good to start with winter season - this season of letting go and going inward.
So, in talking to my therapist on Friday we talked about comfort foods and the reasons why they are comfort foods and why we need comfort foods - Here is an idea - maybe I can change to healthier comfort foods? I am have been giving some thought to what those food might be - yogurt is one that immediately comes to mind. If I can find healthier comfort foods then I leave all those sweet, rich, creamy, crunchy foods that are now my comfort foods to really special occasions.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Celebrating Samhain
Well - I did my political protest and mischief making going to Occupy Wall Street - NYC on Sunday afternoon.
Monday I celebrated the Wiccan/Celtic New Year with special food and watching Charlie Brown "Great Pumpkin" and doing a little spell of releasing and consulting Runes. I stayed up until the wee hours watching a Hope/Crosby "Road" movie.
Tuesday I had lunch - more like an english tea with scones, raspberry jam and clotted cream with extras - with a lovely friend at Alices's Tea Cup.
I definitely haven't been tracking on WW or doing dancing with my friend - but it is now time to get back on the wagon and start working on things again.
Along with the recent question about food and shame - I am also fussing about the holidays - especially holiday baking. When I made my stolen - I like using cream and butter and the best ingredients I can. Just as with Halloween - making special holiday food is important to me. It connects me to my love of baking, creating something with love and family history, and sharing good food. For as many years as I can remember, my mother made stolen each holiday, as gifts and for the family on Christmas morning. By making the stolen and holiday cookies - I continue a tradition that I love. It is one of the few times when I do bake and the apartment is fill with warmth and the aroma of baking bread. So - I am going to enjoy my traditions - even making a stolen I will enjoy myself over the holidays - by using the good ingredients of butter and cream. The tradition is more important to me then how many points they are in WW.
I am also thinking some about food and shame. Here are the questions rattling around in my mind:
1. What other foods carry shame for me? cookies, cake, fried food, rich food, cobblers, pies, peanut butter, brownies, pastries, ...
2. What to do about the shame? Shame isn't healthy - especially dealing with food issues. So how do I change the shame? Can I change these into good things to eat? Or change the shame? What is the shame? because someone said "no - you shouldn't have that" at some point?
As with most humans - I hate to change. I admitted to a friend recently that I was very reluctant to change a certain eating pattern - it felt like the little girl in me was just being defiant and stubborn - kind of "I don't want to just because...". I can't remember what pattern or food we were discussing - I can very clearly remember the resistance rising in me - all I can remember of the conversation is that I will try rice cakes is what came from it.....
Monday I celebrated the Wiccan/Celtic New Year with special food and watching Charlie Brown "Great Pumpkin" and doing a little spell of releasing and consulting Runes. I stayed up until the wee hours watching a Hope/Crosby "Road" movie.
Tuesday I had lunch - more like an english tea with scones, raspberry jam and clotted cream with extras - with a lovely friend at Alices's Tea Cup.
I definitely haven't been tracking on WW or doing dancing with my friend - but it is now time to get back on the wagon and start working on things again.
Along with the recent question about food and shame - I am also fussing about the holidays - especially holiday baking. When I made my stolen - I like using cream and butter and the best ingredients I can. Just as with Halloween - making special holiday food is important to me. It connects me to my love of baking, creating something with love and family history, and sharing good food. For as many years as I can remember, my mother made stolen each holiday, as gifts and for the family on Christmas morning. By making the stolen and holiday cookies - I continue a tradition that I love. It is one of the few times when I do bake and the apartment is fill with warmth and the aroma of baking bread. So - I am going to enjoy my traditions - even making a stolen I will enjoy myself over the holidays - by using the good ingredients of butter and cream. The tradition is more important to me then how many points they are in WW.
I am also thinking some about food and shame. Here are the questions rattling around in my mind:
1. What other foods carry shame for me? cookies, cake, fried food, rich food, cobblers, pies, peanut butter, brownies, pastries, ...
2. What to do about the shame? Shame isn't healthy - especially dealing with food issues. So how do I change the shame? Can I change these into good things to eat? Or change the shame? What is the shame? because someone said "no - you shouldn't have that" at some point?
As with most humans - I hate to change. I admitted to a friend recently that I was very reluctant to change a certain eating pattern - it felt like the little girl in me was just being defiant and stubborn - kind of "I don't want to just because...". I can't remember what pattern or food we were discussing - I can very clearly remember the resistance rising in me - all I can remember of the conversation is that I will try rice cakes is what came from it.....
Crazy Thursday
So - I went to WW last night to get weighed - I didn't gain any weight, but I didn't lose any either. But hey - things have been a little crazy emotionally lately. I did get a little grumpy but A and I did a Zumba workout and I felt much batter. I had a pretty good day food wise and I even picked a peach for a midnight snack instead of comfort food usually made up of bread, peanut butter and honey. ACCOMPLISHIMENT - GOOD CHOICE!!
So, my peach choice last night and some of the emotional food choices I have made lately, Ben & Jerry's Ice Creem, Bugle Nacho Chips, to just name 2 leads me to, for the first time here, address emotional eating and how it can sabotage otherwise good food choices.
So, here goes - personal examination of my emotional eating:
When does this happen?:
At night usually. Usually on the way home when I pass the bodega on the corner. This can happen especially if I have some emotional upset that I try to use the food for comfort.
Or it can happen, at night, especially if I have a hankering for ice cream, I go out to the bodega. I will do this usually for a couple of reasons, just have that craving that I want to satisfy or I am celebrating something - anything from a good day to seasonal celebrations.
Why does it happen?:
As I sit here and write, I realize that there are two different patterns that may or may not overlap. I think the overlap is what I choose to eat in these situations.
One emotion is happy celebration, the other emotional upset seeking inner comfort for a real hurt.
So, indulge me and let me muck around in this a little.....I am just going to do a little stream of consciouness here----
emotional eating - hurt - eat for comfort - eating a favorite food like ice cream or chips - over indulge like eat 2 small bags of chips or entire pint of ice cream - don't know when to stop - hurt - eating to hide? - eating to hide from the pain? - afraid of letting the pain be - afraid the pain will get worse/will hurt more if I really feel the pain - not immediately trying to fix it/solve it/or feel better - eating to keep from dealing with the pain and what caused the pain - old pattern to deal with pain by hiding it - go back to childhood or attempted rape - if feeling pain about current hurt also brings up passed pains that remain unresolved (working to find a therapist to begin to resolve past pain) - current pain sling shots me back to other pain -
It is good to write this down and see it - get it out of my head and spill it out here so I think about other things or can now think about some of the deeper issues - versus keeping this in my head where I can't really look at it - it just keeps going around and around....
To A: thanks for offering to let me call you when I get in that emotional eating place - there so many levels to the thank you - but my mind keeps thinking about trying to be vulnerable and truthful about an unhealthy pattern I have - it is support that is hard to ask for because of the vulnerability and trust - but now that it is offered I will try. I know we are supporting each other in different ways, but this means the world to me. To be able to share that hurt place without judgment to someone else, but also for myself - to give myself permission to be vulnerable and to trust. Because lets be honest - for right now - this pattern is here and it isn't a pretty pattern - and I can't avoid it by just not eating those chips and ice cream - I need to get to the emotional root of it. That I have such loving sister/mothers who love me and are helping me to love me too, A,R,P and D - you know who you are. I love that you support me and love me.....
So, my peach choice last night and some of the emotional food choices I have made lately, Ben & Jerry's Ice Creem, Bugle Nacho Chips, to just name 2 leads me to, for the first time here, address emotional eating and how it can sabotage otherwise good food choices.
So, here goes - personal examination of my emotional eating:
When does this happen?:
At night usually. Usually on the way home when I pass the bodega on the corner. This can happen especially if I have some emotional upset that I try to use the food for comfort.
Or it can happen, at night, especially if I have a hankering for ice cream, I go out to the bodega. I will do this usually for a couple of reasons, just have that craving that I want to satisfy or I am celebrating something - anything from a good day to seasonal celebrations.
Why does it happen?:
As I sit here and write, I realize that there are two different patterns that may or may not overlap. I think the overlap is what I choose to eat in these situations.
One emotion is happy celebration, the other emotional upset seeking inner comfort for a real hurt.
So, indulge me and let me muck around in this a little.....I am just going to do a little stream of consciouness here----
emotional eating - hurt - eat for comfort - eating a favorite food like ice cream or chips - over indulge like eat 2 small bags of chips or entire pint of ice cream - don't know when to stop - hurt - eating to hide? - eating to hide from the pain? - afraid of letting the pain be - afraid the pain will get worse/will hurt more if I really feel the pain - not immediately trying to fix it/solve it/or feel better - eating to keep from dealing with the pain and what caused the pain - old pattern to deal with pain by hiding it - go back to childhood or attempted rape - if feeling pain about current hurt also brings up passed pains that remain unresolved (working to find a therapist to begin to resolve past pain) - current pain sling shots me back to other pain -
It is good to write this down and see it - get it out of my head and spill it out here so I think about other things or can now think about some of the deeper issues - versus keeping this in my head where I can't really look at it - it just keeps going around and around....
To A: thanks for offering to let me call you when I get in that emotional eating place - there so many levels to the thank you - but my mind keeps thinking about trying to be vulnerable and truthful about an unhealthy pattern I have - it is support that is hard to ask for because of the vulnerability and trust - but now that it is offered I will try. I know we are supporting each other in different ways, but this means the world to me. To be able to share that hurt place without judgment to someone else, but also for myself - to give myself permission to be vulnerable and to trust. Because lets be honest - for right now - this pattern is here and it isn't a pretty pattern - and I can't avoid it by just not eating those chips and ice cream - I need to get to the emotional root of it. That I have such loving sister/mothers who love me and are helping me to love me too, A,R,P and D - you know who you are. I love that you support me and love me.....
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