Ladies! Heavens it has been since 12/13 since I wrote here. Well - lets blame it on a very bad head cold and the holidays. I have really just tried to get through the holidays and get healthy again. I still have the sniffles, but that could be in part the fat free 1/2 & 1/2 in my coffee.
So, I haven't over done it by too much or stuck to any eating plan. I haven't really excersise this whole time. And this week I am on vacation so all bets are off. Come the new year I will get back to my routine - my yougurts are waiting.
So - to my dish for the week. I am trying a Weight Watchers recipe - honey ginger chicken. It is suppose to be on squwirs but I am just going to bake it in the marinate. Honey - ginger - oj - soy sauce - hausin sauce ( I think I have that right) - garlic and pepper. Right now the chicken is marinating and I will cook it up either later this afternoon or tomorrow. I am going to put it wilde rice. That should make a good meal.
In other news: I signed up for a couple of speed dating outings. The first one is tonight. I am both excited and a little terrified. I am not sure what I am going to wear. The next outing is Friday 1/6 at a gallery for wine and cheese. I will let you know how it goes. My approach to this evening is to just have fun and meet some new people. I was just think what kind of ice breaker question would I ask - what is your favorite thing to do on weekends? or what are you passionate about? what do love about life? Well - these are all good things to dream about.....
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
As strong as I may seem from last night post, I am not. I was a crying mess last night - touching old wounds from cancer that I had forgotten about, but that now sent me into an emotional set of rapids of tears. Maybe I am getting better at seeing the hurt, naming it, sharing the story, braking the silence and then letting the emotion go - and maybe - in time - forgiving. Last night I was vulnerable and hurt all over again. This again has been a lesson in feeling the hurt, knowing the poison of these hurt thoughts, addressing them and trying to forgive, both myself and my family.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Facing Fears and Curry Chicken Soup
First facing fears: I have been in an emotional commotion for a few days, about New Year's. I have decided this year that I didn't want to be alone like I was last year. I have been working with my VT niece about going up there, but all kinds of old family fears came tumbling into my tummy and eyes, causing me upset. Well, in writing a poem I was able to name those fears, put all of them down in writing - and something said in me "NO! your fears do not control you - you control them!" and I also realized how desperate, even pathetic I sounded. So while New Year's isn't definitely decided yet, I feel I can make a calmer, empowered choices instead of sniveling and sniffling through it in tears and feeling miserable. I said to my fears "I hear you - I love you - I know your hurts and frustrations - but you can't make decisions - I have to make them - I know you are scared - but we can't go through life afraid - so let's get on with it and have some fun."
I know it is on some level profound - to be able to work through this to get to the empowered place - and I am getting better at seeing the patterns and facing the fears and taking better control of my choices.
Which leads to Lindt chocolates - I got some on Sunday evening when I was feeling miserable - but here is the little bit of accomplishment - I didn't devour ALL of them trying to comfort my fears and tears. I actually stopped without finishing the whole bag! I have chocolates I can enjoy to night. And while I was eating them, I took time to really enjoy their very smooth chocolate-ness.
So, this all kind off leads around to Chicken Curry Corn Chowder! A and I met on Friday in Grand Central and had soup for dinner - Chicken Curry Corn Chowder. It was delicious. I was inspired to try and make it myself. It seems that lately I am into making big pots of soups and chilli (last week it was chilli) and eating all week long. It does make food prep for the week very easy. I added coconut milk to the soup which makes it taste wonderfully rich and smooth. So tonight along with my Chicken Curry Corn Chowder I will have wild rice and Lindt chocolates.
I know it is on some level profound - to be able to work through this to get to the empowered place - and I am getting better at seeing the patterns and facing the fears and taking better control of my choices.
Which leads to Lindt chocolates - I got some on Sunday evening when I was feeling miserable - but here is the little bit of accomplishment - I didn't devour ALL of them trying to comfort my fears and tears. I actually stopped without finishing the whole bag! I have chocolates I can enjoy to night. And while I was eating them, I took time to really enjoy their very smooth chocolate-ness.
So, this all kind off leads around to Chicken Curry Corn Chowder! A and I met on Friday in Grand Central and had soup for dinner - Chicken Curry Corn Chowder. It was delicious. I was inspired to try and make it myself. It seems that lately I am into making big pots of soups and chilli (last week it was chilli) and eating all week long. It does make food prep for the week very easy. I added coconut milk to the soup which makes it taste wonderfully rich and smooth. So tonight along with my Chicken Curry Corn Chowder I will have wild rice and Lindt chocolates.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Silly dancing girl
Sooooo.................I got back to dancing tonight. The Nutcracker was my inspiration and the fact that I listened to my body. As tired as I have felt lately - I realize that my body was aching to move - it wanted to stretch and move - so I listened. I was listening to the Nutcracker on the way home and I just turn in to a little silly girl when I hear the closing waltz. I just want to twirl around and float around my very small room waving my arms in all kinds of elegant directions. I just feel so silly and happy. And then I put on my French itunes dance station and used some of zumba moves to keeping going for another 15 minutes. So, there you go - I am back to dancing!!!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
catching up
"Brain in Brain - What is Brain?" - from the original Star Trek
That is what I feel like, a little today, thoughts scattered. So I think I will just chatter here:
Planning the holiday - I have been trying to figure out when I am going to do my holiday baking. I need to devote a couple of solid days where baking is going to be the main activity. So I think I am going to do my one day of holiday running around this weekend and move the baking off to next weekend and right before xmas, since I have 12/23 off.
Holiday funkiness: I have been feeling my "left-out-of-my-family" feeling again. This comes from growing up basically as an only child, but with 4 older brothers and sisters. I haven't really felt part of their family/my family. This is something I have struggled with all my life and now with the situation changing with my parents and the holidays, I am feeling it again. It is a sorrow that I am missing something just out of my reach. I was never involved in their lives and they were not involved in mine. Now, if I keep going I will get all weepy and I really don't want to go there right now.
Chilli - I made chilli last weekend and the key spices I used where celery salt, cayenne pepper (not too hot), parsley and cocoa. Well, since cocoa has caffeine in it, I think that is why I have been up late all this week. I wish they could make a caffeine free cocoa, because it really tastes good in the chilli.
I haven't gotten back to my Zumba yet, but plan to. Last weekend I got lots done on Saturday, but then Sunday every muscle, especially in my legs ached, I mean really hurt, especailly the back of my legs. It didn't seem to me I did anything that strenuous or unusual on Saturday. Maybe it was something 'leftover' from the flu I had over Thanksgiving. So I have taken time to let that heal before getting back to dancing. Today! and it will help with the holiday funk.
Actually - I am feeling pretty good about my eating routine/habits right now. I feel like I have finally found a good combination. I haven't been tracking on WW as rigourously as I should - maybe this is an excuse - okay it is an excuse - the holidays - I just don't want to stress too much about food. I want to mindful and stick to my routine as much as possible and not freak out about food - so I am going to stick with my routine and excuse for now.
Okay - that is enough chatter for now.
I feel a little better.......
That is what I feel like, a little today, thoughts scattered. So I think I will just chatter here:
Planning the holiday - I have been trying to figure out when I am going to do my holiday baking. I need to devote a couple of solid days where baking is going to be the main activity. So I think I am going to do my one day of holiday running around this weekend and move the baking off to next weekend and right before xmas, since I have 12/23 off.
Holiday funkiness: I have been feeling my "left-out-of-my-family" feeling again. This comes from growing up basically as an only child, but with 4 older brothers and sisters. I haven't really felt part of their family/my family. This is something I have struggled with all my life and now with the situation changing with my parents and the holidays, I am feeling it again. It is a sorrow that I am missing something just out of my reach. I was never involved in their lives and they were not involved in mine. Now, if I keep going I will get all weepy and I really don't want to go there right now.
Chilli - I made chilli last weekend and the key spices I used where celery salt, cayenne pepper (not too hot), parsley and cocoa. Well, since cocoa has caffeine in it, I think that is why I have been up late all this week. I wish they could make a caffeine free cocoa, because it really tastes good in the chilli.
I haven't gotten back to my Zumba yet, but plan to. Last weekend I got lots done on Saturday, but then Sunday every muscle, especially in my legs ached, I mean really hurt, especailly the back of my legs. It didn't seem to me I did anything that strenuous or unusual on Saturday. Maybe it was something 'leftover' from the flu I had over Thanksgiving. So I have taken time to let that heal before getting back to dancing. Today! and it will help with the holiday funk.
Actually - I am feeling pretty good about my eating routine/habits right now. I feel like I have finally found a good combination. I haven't been tracking on WW as rigourously as I should - maybe this is an excuse - okay it is an excuse - the holidays - I just don't want to stress too much about food. I want to mindful and stick to my routine as much as possible and not freak out about food - so I am going to stick with my routine and excuse for now.
Okay - that is enough chatter for now.
I feel a little better.......
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Daily Om: Essential Authenticity
I had to share this with you this morning! - From the Daily OM
December 2, 2011Essential Authenticity
Revealing Your True Self
Identity is an elusive concept. We feel we must define ourselves using a relatively small selection of roles and conscious character traits, even if none accurately represents our notion of "self." The confusion surrounding our true natures is further compounded by the fact that society regularly asks us to suppress so much of our emotional, intellectual, and spiritual vibrancy. Yet we are, in truth, beings of light—pure energy inhabiting physical bodies, striving for enlightenment while living earthly lives. Our true selves exist whether we acknowledge them or not, often buried under fears and learned behavior. When we recognize our power, our luminosity, and our divinity, we cannot help but live authentic lives of appreciation, potential, fulfillment, and grace.
At birth and throughout your childhood, your thoughts and feelings were more than likely expressions of your true self. Though you may have learned quickly that to speak and act in a certain fashion would win others' approval, you understood innately that you were no ordinary being. There are many ways you can recapture the authenticity you once articulated so freely. Meditation can liberate you from the bonds of those earthly customs that compel you to downplay your uniqueness. Also, communing with nature can remind you of the special role you were meant to play in this lifetime. In order to realize your purpose, you must embrace your true self by letting your light shine forth, no matter the consequences.
Rediscovering who you are apart from your roles and traits takes time and also courage. If, like many, you have denied your authenticity for a long while, you may find it difficult to separate your true identity from the identity you have created to cope with the world around you. Once you do find this authentic self, however, you will be overcome by a wonderful sense of wholeness as you reconcile your spiritual aspect and your physical aspect, as well as your inner- and outer-world personas. As you gradually adjust to this developing unity, your role as a being of light will reveal itself to you, and you will discover that you have a marvelous destiny to fulfill.
Our true selves exist whether we acknowledge them or not, often buried under fears and learned behavior.
December 2, 2011Essential Authenticity
Revealing Your True Self
Identity is an elusive concept. We feel we must define ourselves using a relatively small selection of roles and conscious character traits, even if none accurately represents our notion of "self." The confusion surrounding our true natures is further compounded by the fact that society regularly asks us to suppress so much of our emotional, intellectual, and spiritual vibrancy. Yet we are, in truth, beings of light—pure energy inhabiting physical bodies, striving for enlightenment while living earthly lives. Our true selves exist whether we acknowledge them or not, often buried under fears and learned behavior. When we recognize our power, our luminosity, and our divinity, we cannot help but live authentic lives of appreciation, potential, fulfillment, and grace.
At birth and throughout your childhood, your thoughts and feelings were more than likely expressions of your true self. Though you may have learned quickly that to speak and act in a certain fashion would win others' approval, you understood innately that you were no ordinary being. There are many ways you can recapture the authenticity you once articulated so freely. Meditation can liberate you from the bonds of those earthly customs that compel you to downplay your uniqueness. Also, communing with nature can remind you of the special role you were meant to play in this lifetime. In order to realize your purpose, you must embrace your true self by letting your light shine forth, no matter the consequences.
Rediscovering who you are apart from your roles and traits takes time and also courage. If, like many, you have denied your authenticity for a long while, you may find it difficult to separate your true identity from the identity you have created to cope with the world around you. Once you do find this authentic self, however, you will be overcome by a wonderful sense of wholeness as you reconcile your spiritual aspect and your physical aspect, as well as your inner- and outer-world personas. As you gradually adjust to this developing unity, your role as a being of light will reveal itself to you, and you will discover that you have a marvelous destiny to fulfill.
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