Facing Fears and Curry Chicken Soup

First facing fears: I have been in an emotional commotion for a few days, about New Year's. I have decided this year that I didn't want to be alone like I was last year. I have been working with my VT niece about going up there, but all kinds of old family fears came tumbling into my tummy and eyes, causing me upset.  Well, in writing a poem I was able to name those fears, put all of them down in writing - and something said in me "NO! your fears do not control you - you control them!" and I also realized how desperate, even pathetic I sounded. So while New Year's isn't definitely decided yet, I feel I can make a calmer, empowered choices instead of sniveling and sniffling through it in tears and feeling miserable. I said to my fears "I hear you - I love you - I know your hurts and frustrations - but you can't make decisions - I have to make them - I know you are scared - but we can't go through life afraid - so let's get on with it and have some fun."

I know it is on some level profound - to be able to work through this to get to the empowered place - and I am getting better at seeing the patterns and facing the fears and taking better control of my choices.

Which leads to Lindt chocolates - I got some on Sunday evening when I was feeling miserable - but here is the little bit of accomplishment - I didn't devour ALL of them trying to comfort my fears and tears. I actually stopped without finishing the whole bag! I have chocolates I can enjoy to night. And while I was eating them, I took time to really enjoy their very smooth chocolate-ness.

So, this all kind off leads around to Chicken Curry Corn Chowder! A and I met on Friday in Grand Central and had soup for dinner - Chicken Curry Corn Chowder. It was delicious. I was inspired to try and make it myself. It seems that lately I am into making big pots of soups and chilli (last week it was chilli) and eating all week long. It does make food prep for the week very easy. I added coconut milk to the soup which makes it taste wonderfully rich and smooth. So tonight along with my Chicken Curry Corn Chowder I will have wild rice and Lindt chocolates.