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March 27, 2012 Simple Gestures of Solace Offering Comfort Sometimes it is difficult to see someone we love struggling, in pain, or hurting. When this happens, we might feel like we need to be proactive and do something to ease their troubles. While others may want our help, it is important to keep in mind that we need to be sensitive to what they truly want in the moment, since it can be all too easy to get carried away and say or do more than is really needed. Allowing ourselves to let go and simply exist in the present with another person may actually provide a greater amount of comfort and support than we could ever imagine. Perhaps we can think back to a time when we were upset and needed a kind word, hug, or listening ear from someone else. As we remember these times, we might think of the gestures of kindness that were the most healing. It may have been gentle words such as “I care about you,” or the soothing presence of someone holding us and not expecting anything that were the most consoling. When we are able to go back to these times it becomes easier for us to keep in mind that giving advice or saying more than is really necessary is not always reassuring. What is truly comforting for another is not having someone try to fix them or their problems, but to just be there for them. Should we begin to feel the urge arise to offer advice or repair a situation, we can take a few deep breaths, let the impulse pass, and bring our attention back to the present. Even though we may want to do more, we do not have to do anything other than this to be a good friend. The more we are attuned to what our loved ones are feeling, the more capable we are of truly giving what is best for them in their hour of need. Keeping things simple helps us give the part of ourselves that is capable of the greatest amount of compassion—open ears and an understanding heart. |
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
From The Daily OM: Simple Gestures of Solace
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
I am slowly coming back from Vagina Monologue land. I am still pretty tired from the Friday/Saturday Vagin Fair/Performance. I have very mixes feeling about this year's participation. While I am very proud of what I accomplished, I didn't really have fun - it was an obligation I fulfilled. I was overwhelmed and the experience felt more disjointed then last year's production. I am not going to make sure a big commitment next year, but rather I am going to scale it back significantly.
Heck - it is taking me two days to write this entry. I am still tired, but not as tired. I am glad life is returning to normal and I can get back to things that need to be done and getting out and enjoying spring. The cherry blossoms on campus and just magical - on the trees,their pretty blossoms fluttering through the chilly air. Thankfully things are slow here at work so I can take it easy. One of the things I am getting back to normal is my food tracking via Lose It! I want to especially work on getting the carbs and salt done. I am not doing too bad on the salt, but those CARBS!! well, I do have some ideas to work on - changing eating habits is slow work, but will worth it.
Heck - it is taking me two days to write this entry. I am still tired, but not as tired. I am glad life is returning to normal and I can get back to things that need to be done and getting out and enjoying spring. The cherry blossoms on campus and just magical - on the trees,their pretty blossoms fluttering through the chilly air. Thankfully things are slow here at work so I can take it easy. One of the things I am getting back to normal is my food tracking via Lose It! I want to especially work on getting the carbs and salt done. I am not doing too bad on the salt, but those CARBS!! well, I do have some ideas to work on - changing eating habits is slow work, but will worth it.
Friday, March 16, 2012
SALT update
I have been searching out some alternatives to what I have been buying, especially rice cakes and ingredients in quiche. Well, I found Lundbery rice cake that have 1/3 to 1/4 the salt of the Quaker ones and I found bacon with less salt - so things are looking up!
I am proud of myself
Before I get to my story lets get today out of the way. Dreary gray day in NYC. Because I was so tired last night - I fell asleep on my movie - which I almost never do. Then this morning I couldn't get going making the morning a cab and coffee morning! Since I was good and didn't go get my usual Friday roast beef sandwich, rather I brought my egg salad - I think I am going to treat myself to some chocolate to get me through the afternoon.
So, now to my little story from last night. YIKES! I was on the train home last night when I realized I didn't have my cell/smart phone with me! Now, here is what I am proud about - I didn't panic - I didn't stress out or worry. I did search through my purse and lunch bag 5 or 6 times BEFORE I concluded my phone wasn't there. So, I calmly got off the train at the first station I knew I could switch to a train going back to work without too much trouble. I headed back to my building, up to my office and there it was hiding under some papers. Thank the GODDESS many times over. I contemplated leaving it at work, since I was sure that is where it was, but I couldn't. What if it wasn't there and such things went through my head, but I decide it was just better to go back and get it. It is my only phone at home and it has other important things on it like pictures and other notes and such. Thank GODDESS I looked in my bag BEFORE I got home - I wanted to enter something on it on my way home and so that is how I discovered it was missing. At least it was only slightly annoying to turn around mid trip and go back instead of getting all the way home only to discover it was missing.
I am so proud I didn't freak out, didn't stress much or worry to much. I was confident I knew where it was though I really thought I put it in my purse before heading out the door to come home. I really trusted that everything would be okay and the Goddess was looking after me. It feels good to have done that and now to revel in the accomplishment.
So, now to my little story from last night. YIKES! I was on the train home last night when I realized I didn't have my cell/smart phone with me! Now, here is what I am proud about - I didn't panic - I didn't stress out or worry. I did search through my purse and lunch bag 5 or 6 times BEFORE I concluded my phone wasn't there. So, I calmly got off the train at the first station I knew I could switch to a train going back to work without too much trouble. I headed back to my building, up to my office and there it was hiding under some papers. Thank the GODDESS many times over. I contemplated leaving it at work, since I was sure that is where it was, but I couldn't. What if it wasn't there and such things went through my head, but I decide it was just better to go back and get it. It is my only phone at home and it has other important things on it like pictures and other notes and such. Thank GODDESS I looked in my bag BEFORE I got home - I wanted to enter something on it on my way home and so that is how I discovered it was missing. At least it was only slightly annoying to turn around mid trip and go back instead of getting all the way home only to discover it was missing.
I am so proud I didn't freak out, didn't stress much or worry to much. I was confident I knew where it was though I really thought I put it in my purse before heading out the door to come home. I really trusted that everything would be okay and the Goddess was looking after me. It feels good to have done that and now to revel in the accomplishment.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
DAMNED SALT!!!!
Wow - using Lose It! app gave me a shock when it calculated how much salt I was taking in. Okay - I confess I am not good at tracking my salt intake - now I have NO excuse - which is a good thing. First it means that I need to make my own salad dressing, see if I can find another rice cake with no so much salt (I like rice cakes, especially for the crunch, but also I can put avocados or tuna on them for a lunch time snack). I have to watch the roast beast(beef) deli meat - I think I am going to start asking the deli manager if they have low salt versions. I also have to use low salt cheese and bacon in my quiche. The app helps me find where there is too much salt to I can make adjustments These are all things I am willing to try. And for my efforts - Lowering my high blood pressure and breaking the salt addiction.
I talked with D last night. She is inspiring me! She bought a membership to a gym, which got me to get off my train 2 stops early. Last night I considered going back to gym here at Pratt - I have to see - I do love walking and it fits into my schedule. I have also been thinking of getting off my train 3 stops early, especially now that it is lighter later. All these little changes do add up.
So tomorrow I am going to forgo my usual deli sandwich and bring egg salad from home. If I do go to the market I will see if they have low salt roast beef.
I talked with D last night. She is inspiring me! She bought a membership to a gym, which got me to get off my train 2 stops early. Last night I considered going back to gym here at Pratt - I have to see - I do love walking and it fits into my schedule. I have also been thinking of getting off my train 3 stops early, especially now that it is lighter later. All these little changes do add up.
So tomorrow I am going to forgo my usual deli sandwich and bring egg salad from home. If I do go to the market I will see if they have low salt roast beef.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
A really good day
So the stars have aligned for me today: I am wearing a pretty dress for the warm weather, I have gotten things done today and I had a good therapy session, which definitely has helped this good feeling.
Last night we talked about fear, and as a side though connected, anger, and how it always seems so huge and unmanageable to me - big fears that overwhelm me. The lesson is that Big fear is made up of lots of little fears that come from different place, different experiences and perceptions that then coalesce into an overwhelming fear. So here is a little taste of the Big Fear: I am afraid of being obese will lead to diabetes and dementia (because that is how my mom's dementia accelerated) - so the little fears: afraid of being alone, afraid of the future, afraid of being vulnerable, afraid of going to the dr. and having tests, afraid of what the tests will say, and on and on - it becomes like a dog constantly chasing it's tail or fractals that keep going on and on and on......and while these all gang up into one big fear - or ride the coat tales of one fear - taking apart the Big Fear seems to make the little fears more manageable - kind of like divide and conquer.
Last night me therapist also paid me a huge compliment - and that is also fueling my happiness today. She said that despite all the crap that I have gone through and that I have had to rely on myself much of the time - that reliance has helped me overcome things to be confident and creative (I think I am adding this because it feels right for me).
Today it feels like a weight has been lifted off of me. The weight is not just the insights about fear and anger, but also that she gets my story! She understands all the hurt and pain that I have carried around for all these years. She understands the dynamics of my situation. The lightness also comes from my story being heard and understood and honored. It feels good finally begin to get all of that out and all of it heard and understood.....
I think we next start looking at those various pieces of fear and anger and loneliness. I have been considering how to work poetry into the process and haven't quite figured it out. It is hard enough writing from the depths of such emotions - I feel now that I have some perspective that poetry writing about some of these topics will be easier.
Still testing Lose It! So far I like it and am finding it has more information that WW. I have put in some of my favorite recipes and still have more to switch over. I also have to add some foods that aren't coming up in their database - over all I have high praise for the app and the on-line version. Now, my next step maybe to buy a scale - YIKES - I haven't had one for, lets say, decades! Big Breath - breath in and out - this is a little out of my comfort zone but maybe this is a good thing.......
Last night we talked about fear, and as a side though connected, anger, and how it always seems so huge and unmanageable to me - big fears that overwhelm me. The lesson is that Big fear is made up of lots of little fears that come from different place, different experiences and perceptions that then coalesce into an overwhelming fear. So here is a little taste of the Big Fear: I am afraid of being obese will lead to diabetes and dementia (because that is how my mom's dementia accelerated) - so the little fears: afraid of being alone, afraid of the future, afraid of being vulnerable, afraid of going to the dr. and having tests, afraid of what the tests will say, and on and on - it becomes like a dog constantly chasing it's tail or fractals that keep going on and on and on......and while these all gang up into one big fear - or ride the coat tales of one fear - taking apart the Big Fear seems to make the little fears more manageable - kind of like divide and conquer.
Last night me therapist also paid me a huge compliment - and that is also fueling my happiness today. She said that despite all the crap that I have gone through and that I have had to rely on myself much of the time - that reliance has helped me overcome things to be confident and creative (I think I am adding this because it feels right for me).
Today it feels like a weight has been lifted off of me. The weight is not just the insights about fear and anger, but also that she gets my story! She understands all the hurt and pain that I have carried around for all these years. She understands the dynamics of my situation. The lightness also comes from my story being heard and understood and honored. It feels good finally begin to get all of that out and all of it heard and understood.....
I think we next start looking at those various pieces of fear and anger and loneliness. I have been considering how to work poetry into the process and haven't quite figured it out. It is hard enough writing from the depths of such emotions - I feel now that I have some perspective that poetry writing about some of these topics will be easier.
Still testing Lose It! So far I like it and am finding it has more information that WW. I have put in some of my favorite recipes and still have more to switch over. I also have to add some foods that aren't coming up in their database - over all I have high praise for the app and the on-line version. Now, my next step maybe to buy a scale - YIKES - I haven't had one for, lets say, decades! Big Breath - breath in and out - this is a little out of my comfort zone but maybe this is a good thing.......
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
facing fears/keeping positive
So, last night I was watching Thirteen and a special on Tony Bennett duets, which I loved!!! the next program on was about obesity and diabetes and it freaked me out! I listened for a little while, about the national trends, etc. But I got really scared for me. I believe the reason my mom has dementia now is because of diabetes. I don't want to lose my mind - losing that for me would be worse then losing the other 5 senses. So I must be my own ballast - to balance myself out again. So, let me be a cheerleader for me: I have already lost 50 pounds and kept it off. I have changed my eating habits, I pay more attention to fruits and veggies and protein and natural grains. I have worked hard to break the emotional eating - I was in the drug store recently and thought of getting combos - cheddar cheese and cracker - and I didn't!!! I have to say my friend D is inspiring me to be more aware of the emotional trip/snag. I find myself, when I am upset and wanting to emotionally eat, saying "Carolyn, this is emotional - food isn't going to help" and recently that has helped me make a better choice.One thing I might change right now is to work on the sugar in my diet. One thing I can do is to get plain greek yogurt for my morning breakfast and not put sugar in my tea at night. I know these are small things, but small steps count for me. Small steps is how, right now, I get to my goal.
So, back to facing the fears - again I realized today I have a choice how I react. I reminded myself of all the good things I was doing. I am doing the best that I can. Ultimately I have to love myself through all of this. I have to believe that I can do this - I can lose this weight and I will be healthier. Part of me - maybe the vulnerable/victim me wants to curl up and cry - but the strong me can't - I have to take little steps forward.
I know I can't think about this now, but my yearly doctor visit is coming up in April and going to that right now sends chills through me. I am just afraid of what they will find wrong with me.....but I will worry about that later...I think I feel most alone when it comes to dealing with my health.....
So, back to facing the fears - again I realized today I have a choice how I react. I reminded myself of all the good things I was doing. I am doing the best that I can. Ultimately I have to love myself through all of this. I have to believe that I can do this - I can lose this weight and I will be healthier. Part of me - maybe the vulnerable/victim me wants to curl up and cry - but the strong me can't - I have to take little steps forward.
I know I can't think about this now, but my yearly doctor visit is coming up in April and going to that right now sends chills through me. I am just afraid of what they will find wrong with me.....but I will worry about that later...I think I feel most alone when it comes to dealing with my health.....
Monday, March 12, 2012
Daylight savings
So, my sleep clock is messed up. Last night as I went to be at midnight my body was saying "no, it is 11" so it took me another hour or so to get to sleep - and then getting up this morning - well, lets just say it was a cab day......
I am feeling more positive since last week. I figured, "yeah, I have lots of painful memories to work through, but I also have a choice of how I feel minute to minute "and so I am going to keep as positive and happy as I can as I work through the pain. I also think of the choice as loving myself, all of me, unconditionally, and that yeah it is going to hurt, but I don't have to stay in that hurt place all the time. Part of the loving is telling the painful stories so they don't hurt anymore and part of the loving is also being happy and positive now.
So I am trying a new app - Lose It! A lot like WW but I don't have to spend $40 a month. I entered a couple recipes and I will try entering some foods that I can't find in their database. It track calories - which everyone tracks. It has an exercise place. I am going to give it a try before a let WW go.
My knee is still wanky but I am walking. I did a lot of resting yesterday which I thought would help but at least I keep walking.
I have to confess I watched about a documentary series this weekend, one about Shakespeare and the other about the Tower of London. Okay, so I am a closet anglophile! I got all misty eyed over wanting to go to England and Scotland again. To see Hampton Court, visit the Malcolm castle, Duntrune, go to the Lake District and the Cotswolds, Yorkshire and the Orkney's. sigh.
Here is a little accomplishment! I made appointments with my OBGYN and GP for yearly checks. This is big for me since I really don't like doctors and I haven't seen them since my cancer treatment or before. So another step back to 'normal life'. I scheduled them for AFTER my birthday just in case there is something new I have to deal with - I won't have my birthday time shadowed by those anxieties.
I am feeling more positive since last week. I figured, "yeah, I have lots of painful memories to work through, but I also have a choice of how I feel minute to minute "and so I am going to keep as positive and happy as I can as I work through the pain. I also think of the choice as loving myself, all of me, unconditionally, and that yeah it is going to hurt, but I don't have to stay in that hurt place all the time. Part of the loving is telling the painful stories so they don't hurt anymore and part of the loving is also being happy and positive now.
So I am trying a new app - Lose It! A lot like WW but I don't have to spend $40 a month. I entered a couple recipes and I will try entering some foods that I can't find in their database. It track calories - which everyone tracks. It has an exercise place. I am going to give it a try before a let WW go.
My knee is still wanky but I am walking. I did a lot of resting yesterday which I thought would help but at least I keep walking.
I have to confess I watched about a documentary series this weekend, one about Shakespeare and the other about the Tower of London. Okay, so I am a closet anglophile! I got all misty eyed over wanting to go to England and Scotland again. To see Hampton Court, visit the Malcolm castle, Duntrune, go to the Lake District and the Cotswolds, Yorkshire and the Orkney's. sigh.
Here is a little accomplishment! I made appointments with my OBGYN and GP for yearly checks. This is big for me since I really don't like doctors and I haven't seen them since my cancer treatment or before. So another step back to 'normal life'. I scheduled them for AFTER my birthday just in case there is something new I have to deal with - I won't have my birthday time shadowed by those anxieties.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Ups and Downs
I am not sure where to begin. I haven't written in maybe a week - and so much goes on.
I did something kind of stupid yesterday I forgot my bosses boss called and I forgot to tell my boss and I haven't had a chance to tell him today - it is turning my guts - I have a bad attack of the guilts. My boss even asked me yesterday and I couldn't remember! ugh! Damn I beat myself inside - I just hate when this happens. I know that we make mistakes and such but I always feel so badly - this a good time to do a little self forgiveness.
I have been keeping to my general eating routine. Oh! I must say I am a little proud of myself. Sunday I had the chance to eat potato chips and I pass it up! Then in the evening I thought of having ice cream and decided against it. I did indulge in cheese cracker Combos after my therapy session on Tuesday, but that is a day things get thrown off because I am traveling a dinner time and don't get home until late.
I haven't been doing my walking, well last night I did on the way home because it was such a lovely warm March evening. When I got out of the subway switch to the 7 it was still light out which cheered me up. But my wanky knee was getting better and now not feeling so well. It stiffens up when I sit - I try to keep it straight under my desk and that helps. Once I get moving I am okay, but it is that inital standing up that the behind my knee aches and feels weak. It doesn't hurt as I am sitting and feels better after a good nights sleep. I keep walking to keep it limber, but I can't walk fast right now - which is okay for me - compared to other NYers I am a slow walker.
I am thinking of getting of WW and using another app for my phone to track food and exercise. Right now for me to spend $40 a month for meetings I am not going to and for their proprietary app is money I could use else where.
I feel I do have to write a little about healing my pain from the past, because for me, right now, it is so very close to the surface. Tuesday evenings generally leave me drained and tired. While it feels good to share all the stories and pain, it hurts too - a lot. The tears of grieving would come so well if I didn't keep myself occupied. The fact that I now have a safe place to tell the story and at night to remind myself that I love me more than anyone else could gives me hope. But I also feel a great lose for all the love I do have that never knew how to be expressed until now. Certainly I loved in the past but it was half/unaware love. Now that I know my own love better I see great hope for opportunity but also sorrow for all the loneliness and fear.
I did something kind of stupid yesterday I forgot my bosses boss called and I forgot to tell my boss and I haven't had a chance to tell him today - it is turning my guts - I have a bad attack of the guilts. My boss even asked me yesterday and I couldn't remember! ugh! Damn I beat myself inside - I just hate when this happens. I know that we make mistakes and such but I always feel so badly - this a good time to do a little self forgiveness.
I have been keeping to my general eating routine. Oh! I must say I am a little proud of myself. Sunday I had the chance to eat potato chips and I pass it up! Then in the evening I thought of having ice cream and decided against it. I did indulge in cheese cracker Combos after my therapy session on Tuesday, but that is a day things get thrown off because I am traveling a dinner time and don't get home until late.
I haven't been doing my walking, well last night I did on the way home because it was such a lovely warm March evening. When I got out of the subway switch to the 7 it was still light out which cheered me up. But my wanky knee was getting better and now not feeling so well. It stiffens up when I sit - I try to keep it straight under my desk and that helps. Once I get moving I am okay, but it is that inital standing up that the behind my knee aches and feels weak. It doesn't hurt as I am sitting and feels better after a good nights sleep. I keep walking to keep it limber, but I can't walk fast right now - which is okay for me - compared to other NYers I am a slow walker.
I am thinking of getting of WW and using another app for my phone to track food and exercise. Right now for me to spend $40 a month for meetings I am not going to and for their proprietary app is money I could use else where.
I feel I do have to write a little about healing my pain from the past, because for me, right now, it is so very close to the surface. Tuesday evenings generally leave me drained and tired. While it feels good to share all the stories and pain, it hurts too - a lot. The tears of grieving would come so well if I didn't keep myself occupied. The fact that I now have a safe place to tell the story and at night to remind myself that I love me more than anyone else could gives me hope. But I also feel a great lose for all the love I do have that never knew how to be expressed until now. Certainly I loved in the past but it was half/unaware love. Now that I know my own love better I see great hope for opportunity but also sorrow for all the loneliness and fear.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Cancer update
I just wanted to let you know that I contacted Cancer Care about a post-treatment/survivors group that I hope will start up soon. This anniversary has shaken things up a little......
Friday
Lets start with some good things. I put on pants this morning that in the past were a little tight - this morning they aren't!WooWoo! I haven't stepped on a scale in a while but my clothes are telling the story. It is Friday and payday.
Okay that is where the good ends for right now. Now to other stuff
My apartment and landlord - one of the steam radiators has been putting off too much steam. I tried to close the valve, the landlord came in yesterday and opened it all the way - so when I walked in the door last night there were beads of water running down the walls of my kitchen. So, I turn the valve off and the knock breaks in 1/2 because the damn thing is so old. Again this morning the radiator is hissing up humidity storm and I call the landlord - he told me I should have left the valve open, as in open all the way, that shutting it off backs it up into the boiler - which sounds fishy to me. He did finally turn off the radiator and the heat. At least I won't have small rivers running down my walls. I was so angry when I got home last night at 8:30 and he took his phone off the hook. I tried to go to his apartment but he wasn't answering.
Speaking of being angry - this brings me to dealing with anger and expressing my anger. Just sitting here I realize part of my anger - especially those who don't support me - I get angry at those who don't support in part because I am still angry at my mother and others for neglecting me as child. Wow - that is a new revelation about me and anger. Also, last night in therapy, beginning to look at all this scary anger - and grief - right now feels like a big scary blob (and in thinking that to myself I thought of my IT - and my weight) - Looking at that anger - I want to cry - not from fear or anxiety but out of deep grief and disappointment - of how much anger I had to stuff and not express as a child and adolescent. One image my therapist suggested I hold was that of when Little C's anger was right and good, before I learned silence and stuffing anger - that the anger from way back then is a warning signal that something was wrong - and I knew something was wrong. Anger is still a good signal that something is wrong - it is finding the root of what is wrong and using anger's energy to find a solution. But it also seems that, as my revelation today might suggest, angers also hides things too - so it is important to find the right way to use anger....
So, I do have to end on a lighter note. I added some charms to my magical heart bracelet - and one of the charms that can open and close. So I put some glitter in it - so the glitter girl could always have a little magic dust on her at all times - Well the heart charm hasn't opened - but glitter is escaping so when I find little bits of glitter, I put in my hair!!! this makes me feel good and secretly silly......
Happy Friday........................
Okay that is where the good ends for right now. Now to other stuff
My apartment and landlord - one of the steam radiators has been putting off too much steam. I tried to close the valve, the landlord came in yesterday and opened it all the way - so when I walked in the door last night there were beads of water running down the walls of my kitchen. So, I turn the valve off and the knock breaks in 1/2 because the damn thing is so old. Again this morning the radiator is hissing up humidity storm and I call the landlord - he told me I should have left the valve open, as in open all the way, that shutting it off backs it up into the boiler - which sounds fishy to me. He did finally turn off the radiator and the heat. At least I won't have small rivers running down my walls. I was so angry when I got home last night at 8:30 and he took his phone off the hook. I tried to go to his apartment but he wasn't answering.
Speaking of being angry - this brings me to dealing with anger and expressing my anger. Just sitting here I realize part of my anger - especially those who don't support me - I get angry at those who don't support in part because I am still angry at my mother and others for neglecting me as child. Wow - that is a new revelation about me and anger. Also, last night in therapy, beginning to look at all this scary anger - and grief - right now feels like a big scary blob (and in thinking that to myself I thought of my IT - and my weight) - Looking at that anger - I want to cry - not from fear or anxiety but out of deep grief and disappointment - of how much anger I had to stuff and not express as a child and adolescent. One image my therapist suggested I hold was that of when Little C's anger was right and good, before I learned silence and stuffing anger - that the anger from way back then is a warning signal that something was wrong - and I knew something was wrong. Anger is still a good signal that something is wrong - it is finding the root of what is wrong and using anger's energy to find a solution. But it also seems that, as my revelation today might suggest, angers also hides things too - so it is important to find the right way to use anger....
So, I do have to end on a lighter note. I added some charms to my magical heart bracelet - and one of the charms that can open and close. So I put some glitter in it - so the glitter girl could always have a little magic dust on her at all times - Well the heart charm hasn't opened - but glitter is escaping so when I find little bits of glitter, I put in my hair!!! this makes me feel good and secretly silly......
Happy Friday........................
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