Last night I went to my therapist and cried. I also cried with R which was a better cry cuz I got a lot of it out. There is nothing like a good friend who I can sob on the phone and she is just there with me. She gets and she lets it be what it is. Today I am doing better. I still will cry if you say boo to me, but at least I can feel some shining hope in my soul that comforts me. This morning on the way to work all I could tell myself was "breathe - in and out - just breathe"
Last night to cheer myself up I watch "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" with Sean Connery - oh give me a scottish accent any day. And I mixed together tuna and avocado with some mayo and had that on rice cakes. I was looking for the easiest snack I could. A little red wine topped it off. I did try to get chips last night at my corner bodega, but they didn't have the ones I wanted, which was a good thing because I had the rice cakes at home the hit that crunchy urge just fine.
Lately I have been into toasted corn muffins with butter as a snack, either late morning or later afternoon. Yes this is a comfort snack. I am not into chocolate(unless I take it home from our RTT) or other sweets so much and right now corn muffins are comforting because I enjoy them - and I need things that I can enjoy right now to get me through this scary time.
Well, that is all for now. Something just came into my head from the movie "Finding Nemo" - Dory always saying "Just keep swimming, Just Keep swimming, Just Keep swimming!" and I would add "just keep breathing, just keep breathing."
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