Having good days

There is a lot going around on that carousel of thoughts in my mind.

First - I have a good weekend. I got my dad to tell stories about his mom and dad, stories I never knew. While I thought I might talk to my sister J about some of my stories surfacing lately, I decided against that and instead just enjoyed having a good weekend with her. I started helping Emily plan her wedding ceremony. We are still trying to figure out how I can be the officiant. Hopefully documents coming from Bucks County will help clarify that.

I had a good therapy session last night. We talked about healing process, giving old wounds space to be and to tell the stories to the past - telling the story takes some of the power way for them to hurt you in the future. We also talked about being single and how hard it is to keep things, especially in my imagination, from spiraling out of control and how lonely it is to deal with life on my own. For everyone who thinks being single has greener grass on the other side of the fence - I would loudly differ with you - being single is just different, it isn't better than being coupled. One thing I do miss, and a thing that I know keeps me more grounded and less prone to emotional roller-coaster rides is having someone around all the time. When I am with friends, family - I find it very hard to leave, I want to stay where I have companionship. While I would still want time alone to work on my projects and give me a chance to take care of me - I also want the companionship. Now, granted I could get into a relationship that isn't grounded - but I am not going to what I don't want and focus on what I do want in a relationship.

On the food front, I have been thinking more about the emotional eating - but this time in excess from celebration. I've done some good things in working to change this pattern. In celebrating LOVE week (valentine's day) I got raspberry sorbet - pink dessert - well I ate it over 4 nights! I didn't eat the whole thing all at once! Last night I needed a little something to get me through therapy and home so I a little packet of Skin Cow Chocolate Clusters - they were very good and I said to myself  when I was done "that was just perfect little something". Usually when having anything like the sorbet or chocolate cluster, there is something in my brain and in my mouth/stomach that says, "Oh! that was good, one more would be good, and fill the little empty spot, I am not satisfied yet" - maybe by saying something different to myself like "that was just prefect little something, just right" it will help change the habit.

I am off speed dating tonight - as always my goal is to have fun and meet new people. When I get my tax refund I will try Match.com as another strategy.