Whole Food

It feels like talking here about food and eating - that I can be accountable to myself. I really don't have other I can talk to about this process, so I talk to myself. I get all those thoughts that are in my brain out here so i can look at them - and so that it is out of my brain. So, Whole Foods. Why am I talking about them - well it is their 2-bite cinnamon rolls. This is a busy/stressful weekend so I got their 2-bite cinnamon rolls. There I admit it. I just wanted those cinnamon rolls because I am working today at, well work - an all day reunion where I am really not doing much more than talking to people and otherwise being bored. I want to have some comfort/favorite reward for when I started today and then again tomorrow morning. Maybe I should put this under the dessert ban - as this could be consider a morning breakfast sweet. So I am using the breakfast time, instead of after dinner, to have a sweet. Well, what's done is done. I have been keeping to my fruit or no dessert this week. I got frozen pineapple and peaches at Whole Foods. These are fruit I love so I look forward to eating them this week. I had a conversation last night with my pastoral counselor exploring the possibility of going deeper with a paid therapist. There is something holding me back and I want to take it apart so I can step into a future I want. No doubt that food and eating will be part of that healing process. I got scared by the ping of truth that went through me, knowing that if I wanted to continue to move forward I needed to do this, but also strangely comforted by knowing what the next step is. It really is stepping to those fears and into the unknown knowing that coming out the other side will be better. I don't say that this is for everyone - but this is for me given my past.