catching up

Wow - I have lots going on right now.

First the weekend. GREAT. Snow. great dinner with friend. Watching a movie with my girlfriend and her son. Cooking yesterday. Making my weekly magical candle. A real sense of accomplishment.

Now my heart project - some creative for me. Hearts have been important to me since I beat cancer. It seems that this time of year I get creative about hearts, maybe because of Valentine's Day or because when I was being treated I had a heart project and it happened at this time of year. So here are my new ideas. 1.Water color heart ornament with glitter, of course. 2. fabric hearts with all kinds of lace/beads/ribbons - maybe in the form of a pillow, or ornament, or multiple heart on wire, sculpture like. 3. combination of hearts on a garland. I love dreaming this stuff up and the hearts remind me to love my self deeper today then I did yesterday.

Push back from my eating meditation book. I am having a argument in my head and so having trouble letting go of that lie - that food that is actually bad for me has the power to comfort, nurture and sustain me. I have a couple of things going on - I REALLY bristle inside by what I see as an extreme point about food that is bad for me. It feels like I am being deprogrammed from a cult I don't want to leave. I kept finding excuses this weekend like "food that is bad for me. How can food be bad for me?" and "Define bad food. So I think of all the shouldn'ts eat foods" which then leads to me to think "Any food in moderation or for only special occasions isn't really bad" and in that vain "on those special occasions, when food does hold special meaning, then way doesn't it comfort, nurture and sustain me?" Maybe I have to be pushed to confront the extreme in order to address all of these conflicting ideas about food. I am willing to suspend my bristling to see what the rest of the book has to offer.

On to the walking front. Well, I don't have to get off the 7 train a stop early. It turns out that my switch from the 7 to the G involves me getting of a stop early, in the morning, at Queensboro Plaza and then WALKING to the Court Sq G train stop because they have CLOSED the 7 line station at Court Sq. So, I am getting more walking whether I like it or not - and I will like it as it gets me to walk more.