Okay, so I haven't written lately. I feel like I was caught in this mini-flirting-gone-wrong time warp.
So to bring you up to date really quick - guy emails me via meetup.com-we start emailing then texting-we try to meet but he doesn't show-he explains I forgive-he is supposedly out of the country for 3 weeks so we can't meet-we continue to text-yesterday he texted me tosee if I could send him $700-I say no- today he asks if we are still good-I say no and end it.
So, today I was feeling rather moppy and upset. Part of me questions "what if". Last night I saw my therapist. And as this is going on I pulled a muscle in my back. Well, now he is gone and so to is much of my back pain.
As I was taking my bedtime show I decided a few things:
1. Not to do romantic talk/text/email during work
2. Always be myself - I know this seems obvious but I was starting to build defenses to this guy and that isn't good
3. To feel love for myself I am playing my sinatra play list and tomorrow I am going to wear a nice dress to work (during my shower I decided to shave). I've got to much to do to feel bad about the situation. Time to love myself and get up and do things I love.......
A further thought came to me - that I had enter victimhood. As such I think I will make another rule to follow - you can't make the first date that's it, no second chances. By allowing this guy a second chance I wasn't respecting myself. I already had my defenses up against getting hurt when the first date was missed and I can't start a relationship from a defensive position.
To the guy: if you don't have the curtesy and respect for time and simple commitment to keep a first date then you aren't worth a second try....
So to bring you up to date really quick - guy emails me via meetup.com-we start emailing then texting-we try to meet but he doesn't show-he explains I forgive-he is supposedly out of the country for 3 weeks so we can't meet-we continue to text-yesterday he texted me tosee if I could send him $700-I say no- today he asks if we are still good-I say no and end it.
So, today I was feeling rather moppy and upset. Part of me questions "what if". Last night I saw my therapist. And as this is going on I pulled a muscle in my back. Well, now he is gone and so to is much of my back pain.
As I was taking my bedtime show I decided a few things:
1. Not to do romantic talk/text/email during work
2. Always be myself - I know this seems obvious but I was starting to build defenses to this guy and that isn't good
3. To feel love for myself I am playing my sinatra play list and tomorrow I am going to wear a nice dress to work (during my shower I decided to shave). I've got to much to do to feel bad about the situation. Time to love myself and get up and do things I love.......
A further thought came to me - that I had enter victimhood. As such I think I will make another rule to follow - you can't make the first date that's it, no second chances. By allowing this guy a second chance I wasn't respecting myself. I already had my defenses up against getting hurt when the first date was missed and I can't start a relationship from a defensive position.
To the guy: if you don't have the curtesy and respect for time and simple commitment to keep a first date then you aren't worth a second try....
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